Public Toilet Poetry
Posted by: laughlikepontianak on: 7 May, 2008
- In: Funnies| Poems
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Here is something funny I received through forwarded email. Poetry and literary work by not so famous poets on not so famous toilet doors and walls. Laugh away!
A budding poet trying his best:
Here I lie in stinky vapour,
Because some bastard stole the toilet paper,
Shall I lie, or shall I linger,
Or shall I be forced to use my finger.
Before he graduated to be a poet, he wrote this:
Here I sit
Broken hearted
Tried to shit
But only farted
Someone who had a different experience wrote:
You’re lucky
You had your chance
I tried to fart,
But shat my pants!
Perhaps it’s true that people found inspiration in toilets
I came here
To shit and stink,
But all I do
Is sit and think.
There are also people who come in for a different purpose:
Some come here to sit and think,
Some come here to shit and stink,
But I come here to scratch my balls,
And read the bullshit on the walls.
The “future” is in your hands, hold it gently!
Thought for the day
Posted by: laughlikepontianak on: 17 April, 2008
Today I finally wrote my interpretation of the song Return to Innocence by Enigma. So people, check it out but you need to find the entry in General Ramblings. Some people will understand exactly what I wrote, some will never. If you’re at that level of thought, then you will.
I am getting tired of the little meaningless squabbles that occur day to day. Is there nothing else more important in life to consider than petty issues?
Sometimes pre-judgement and lack of objectivity can be very dangerous. Where is the patience and understanding that is sorely needed?
No one is perfect, so don’t expect them to be.
Definition of GOSSIP – creativity resulting from idle minds
Posted by: laughlikepontianak on: 11 April, 2008
Dictionary definition: casual talk about the affairs of other people, some of which are true and some untrue.
My definition: creative rumour-turned-fact as a result of idle minds, boring lives and itchy tongues
I can’t help it… I have to say something now. Why? Because I heard another preposterous rumour created about me at work.
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t give a shit about what they say, as long as it does not affect my work or ruin relations between colleagues without good cause.
But really… I think SOME PEOPLE really have too much idling time in their brains. It is either that or their lives are so bloody boring, that they must create stories of other people and spread them as rumours-turned-fact in order to make their own pathetic lives of greater significance.
What is wrong with these people?!
I have tried keeping to myself and not partaking in spreading untrue statements about anyone. YET I cannot avoid nonsense gossip being spread about myself.
Oh well, life is like that. One cannot stop people from being idiots. (*major eye-roll*)
Vantage Point – movie review
Posted by: laughlikepontianak on: 4 March, 2008
In my opinion, Vantage Point is an artisticly made movie. Reminds me of Run Lolla Run, but this blockbuster revolves around just 10 minutes of intense action.
What is Vantage Point about? It’s not about the plot to assasinate the President of USA nor is it about terrorism. It’s about self-sacrifice! Yea right…
Actually the whole movie shows you different viewpoints of a single event. Moral of the story: things are not always what they seem to be.
There are about seven vantage points to this event; all from key individuals involved in it. At first glance, it seems as if the Spanish policeman’s girlfriend is having an affair… the Spanish local is being friendly to the black dude… the President of America is shot…
On the whole, I think they movie was cleverly shot to create suspense and a sense of anticipation.
Viewers who do not give a thought to what they’re watching and expect to be idiotically entertained may be annoyed at the repetition of several scenes, especially the beginning of the event.
But if they use their brain a little and try to appreciate the artistry and message of the movie, they might just enjoy it.
Conversations with Emotive Vowels A E I O U
Posted by: laughlikepontianak on: 4 March, 2008
Scenario: Ling wipes her face with a tissue in the evening after having dinner with her friend, Eve, at a restaurant. She notices that the tissue smudges with light grey patches of dirt.
Ling : A? (read as A-Y for vowel ‘a’: Emotive interpretation = Surprise)
[Ling shows Eve the tissue]
Eve : Eee (disgust)
Ling : I? (“Was it me?”)…. O… (realisation)
Eve : U… (“Silly, you”)
Beautiful world of pretence
Posted by: laughlikepontianak on: 18 February, 2008
Welcome to the beautiful world of pretence called the Corporate World.
This world usually exists between four walls and most often in highrise buildings in which Corporate People thrive in existence with ice-breathing dragons called air conditioning.
It is powered by piped water, electricity and hypocrisy. If any of the elements go missing, this World usually becomes Read the rest of this entry »
The Painter of Shanghai – a book review
Posted by: laughlikepontianak on: 15 February, 2008
It’s published!!
I’ve submitted a review on this historical epic novel to the local media. I thoroughly enjoyed this one. It’s one of those books which you just can’t put down once you start. Surprisingly good for an author who has never done fiction before.
Here’s the link to my published write-up:
http://thestar.com.my/lifestyle/story.asp?file=/2008/6/20/lifebookshelf/20387664&sec=lifebookshelf
Definition of ‘coward’
Posted by: laughlikepontianak on: 4 February, 2008
Ever thought of how the word ‘coward’ came about and what else it may mean?
According to Word Origins: an Exploration and History of Words and Language, written by Wilfred Funk (hahaha), ‘coward’ originates from the Latin word ‘cauda’ which means ‘tail.’ This is because a coward shows his tail or has his tail between his legs as how a dog behaves when running away in fear.
Thus, the word ‘coward’ is a noun for one who has no courage.
Other ridiculous ways I look at ‘coward’ are:
-
A cow that has gone wayward
-
A person who tries too hard to give praise – he Cannot Wow so ends up Cow (ok, doesnt make sense)
Since ’coward’ originates from a person showing the rear end while running away, then that should more or less equate him to an ‘ass’ … figuratively speaking.
I would then say that two words that should be included in the thesaurus for ‘coward’ should be ‘ass’ and ‘asshole’.
Till the Cows Come Home
Posted by: laughlikepontianak on: 4 February, 2008
Pontianak: I’m bored ’till the cows come home.
Leong: Why did the cows go away then?
Pontianak: Because they were f**king sick of the bullshit.
What is the meaning of life?
Posted by: laughlikepontianak on: 1 February, 2008
This is perhaps the most asked question of all time. My friend challenged me to write about it, so here goes.
I have asked this question myself and it continued to bug me intermittently over the past few decades until of late. I had been given this impression that we are all born for a reason. We are here for a purpose.
That thinking put a lot of pressure on my very existence. With that unsaid expectation I had to think of a greater reason for being alive which is all so stupid. At the end of the day, life is just that. There is life because of the heart that beats.
There is life because an egg and a sperm successfully joined up to form an embryo. Period. It is not a freaking miracle to be awe-inspiringly grateful for. Any woman who has the right conditions and got injected with strong enough sperm can produce a baby.
Ultimately, the meaning of life is what you give it. Some people choose raising their children as their purpose for living, some indulging in hedonistic pursuits, some in altruistic missions, some build empires.
There is no right or wrong. Simply put, there is nothing deeper than that actually. You and I are alive because we are. Not because we’re excused from execution by some divine intervention.
It is not to say that we are incapable of creating a meaningful impact on the world. Any one of us is, but it is a matter of choice and ability.
But human nature being such, there must be a definitive answer that needs to satisfy the simple masses. What might that answer be then?
The simplest one I can think of is this: “To live life to the fullest in the best possible way”
Now people will ask the NEXT question, which is “What IS the best and what do you mean by ‘fullest’?” (*eye roll*) Yes, now I see what is meant by ‘children of God.’ We have to ask every single thing instead of figuring things out and giving meaning to these words ourselves.
Honestly, there is no single answer for each person gives a different value to each aspect of life. It is the aspect with the highest points which gives the greatest meaning of life to that person. Doing things which contribute to positive experiences of that aspect, I think, would answer the second question.
(more to come)
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